Fuzzy feelings or a true love at Valentine's Day?

In the Whatcom Community College newspaper, the heading caught my attention as it said: "Love, or Something Like it."  Brianna Kuplent writes an article to motivate others in order to show more love on Valentines Day instead of waiting for presents.  She writes "[Most] people ask others what they received for Valentine's Day instead of just enjoying the day and being in love" (5).  She is correct in making this observation, people are more excited to receive gifts and flowers on Valentine's day than to give. There’s nothing wrong with being excited, unless it is based on a shallow fuzzy feeling, and not on true love. Kuplent's mistake is that she doesn't define love in her article and probably has no idea what it means, at least concluding this from my school friends' answer when I asked them to define love.  So, can we have a firm understanding of what love is, or is it one of the gray areas leaving us without an answer?  

The legend behind Valentines day goes like this:  A priest, by the name of Valentine, refused to obey the law of Roman Emperor Claudius II, and performed marriage ceremonies which led to his execution.  Claudius believed that young men make a better solders if they are single than if they were married.  Now the priest (by the name Valentine) went ahead and secretly performed the marriage ceremony for these young solders until he got caught and put in the prison.  However, a day before his execution Valentine had written a card to a girl that he loved, this is where writing card on Valentine came from.  Now people that write this story on wikipedia, admit that there is no written history that would support this legend to be true--after all, if they did, wikipedia would not be the area that we should trust. 

The Bible presents a total different explanation of love; the love was lost when Adam fell.  After the fall, we see Adam behaving selfishly and not loving.  He says, "The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate" (Genesis 3:12).  Adam blamed his wife in order to escape the guilt.  Right from the fall of man, people became selfish in their relationship.  The Apostle Paul repeats this truth in Romans: "just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned" (Romans 5:12).  Not only was Adam short in loving Eve, but all of us who came from Adam behave selfishly and unlovingly; therefore, a person in his natural state can't love as he/she ought to.


Since people by nature are selfish, they can't be the one defining love, because the definition would still be selfish; therefore, the true definition on love emerges from God.  John writes, "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love" (1 John 4:8)  First truth that we see here is that:  "God is love" (4:8).  God characterizes himself as the one who is love.  In other words, love is who He is.  John MacArthur writes in his commentary, "God by nature is love, and therefore He defines love; it does not define Him.  People constantly impose on God a human view of love, but He transcends any such human limitations."  God establishes the definition of love not the sinful selfish people--in other words, us.  

If we look up the word "love" in dictionary.com or Wikipedia, we would get a responce like this: “a profoundly tender, passionate affection fore another person” (dictionary.com).  Or, "Love and affection between intimate companions" (Wikipedia).  The way that language experts in the field characterize love would be on this fuzzy feeling towards each other, but is that the true definition on love?

But then the question arises, how do we love?


John writes that only a regenerated heart can truly love: "Anyone who does not love does not know God" (4:8).  Everyone who builds their life apart from the true God, would never able to express love towards someone else, it would always be from the selfish desires.  It would only be on the level of gifts and flowers to a degree, but it would never be based on the true love of God, that is a love coming from God.  Another word, the presence God in the person's heart gives him the ability to love.    

There's nothing wrong with giving a card or a flower to a someone you love, it’s just a matter of a context.  For a single person, it’s normal to give a flower or a card to a girl who he is marrying too; however, a young man has no rights in giving a flower or a card to a girl if he has no intention of marrying that girl.  For a married person, a husband should give his wife flowers and gifts to cultivate his relationship with her, but not only on Valentines day--it should be everyday.  

The question that we need to ask ourselves is this: do we love because we have a regenerated heart that reflects God, or because we have these fuzzy feelings toward each other?